No Rayne
by Oxnate
Summary: In memory of Robin Sachs (Ethan Rayne). Dawn is going Trick or Treating and has her eye on a paired set of costumes the proprietor calls his "Rayne Special". Eventual Rayne.
1. Chapter 1

In memory of Robin Sachs (Ethan Rayne). Dawn is going Trick or Treating and has her eye on a paired set of costumes the proprietor calls his "Rayne Special".

* * *

Challenge Description _Dawn dresses to impress Xander that fateful Halloween night. Tagging along with her sister to the costume shop, Dawn is quickly forgotten for (in Dawn's opinion) a monstrosity of epic poofy proportions. Browsing the aisles by herself she finds the perfect costume._

_In the mind of young Dawn, Xander must only like Buffy because she's strong, a hero, right? So what better costume to finally catch his attention than a powerful girl from the future?_

_Sadly, the costume information card said nothing about the state of River Tam's mind or the horrors she has witnessed._

_WANTED but not needed: I'm a Rayne fan, big time, so if you want to make this a pairing later on or make Dawn older I'd love it if the male part of the equation dressed as Jayne. It would be even juicier if Xander's so called 'soldier' was really a mercenary from the future called Jayne. :) He just needed a gun, right? Vera, anyone?_

* * *

No Rayne.

Disclaimer: Not my worlds. Just my words. Joss's worlds are the best, therefore I used two this time. Do not own Buffy or Firefly

As usual, the title for my story comes from a song. This one is Blind Melon's – No Rain. And contrary to the title, there will be plenty of Rayne if things get going the way I hope.

I just learned of Robin Sachs' (Ethan Rayne) death earlier in February. Wasn't planning on posting this for a long time yet. But I wanted an homage to Rayne.

* * *

Chapter 1.

A blue dress, black leggings, and combat boots. The incongruity of the indigo, gossamer gown and the shiny, black army boots had first drawn her attention. The dress was hopefully sexy enough to grab Xander's attention without earning her another speech from her mother about how a 'young lady' should dress and act.

She hadn't even been planning on Trick-or-Treating this year. After all, she was almost in High School and getting too old for that kind of thing but then she heard that Xander had been roped into taking some younger kids out she had quickly changed her mind. Speaking of Xander, she found him and rescued him before he could give his honest opinion of the hideous pink dress Buffy was looking at. If he told Buffy the truth about that dress the Slayer would render him into a puddle of goo and they'd never get married.

"Look Xander! There's a gun over here too." she said as she pulled him along.

"Huh. So there is Dawnie." Xander replied once they arrived. "But I'm not sure that's a soldier's gun. Kinda big if you ask me."

"You're right. It's not a soldier's gun." a voice said.

"Gah!" the kids both screamed, Dawn only slightly shriller.

"Sorry if I startled you. Ethan Rayne." the man held out his hand. "I'm the proprietor of this establishment."

Xander noted the British accent of Ethan and briefly wondered about asking if he knew anyone named Giles before dismissing the idea as absurd. "Xander. And we're sorry we screamed, but you shouldn't sneak up on people around here." he said instead as they shook hands.

"Wonderful to meet you Xander and thank you for the advice. Now as I was saying, it's not a soldier's gun and quite frankly wouldn't go well with a soldier costume at all." Ethan explained.

Xander shrugged. He would just have to find a different, and probably cheaper, gun elsewhere in the store.

But the man wasn't finished. He stared past the children and looked wistfully at the costumes behind them instead. "I call this my Rayne combo and I'm sorry but I couldn't sell these separately. You see the two characters to whom these costumes belong are called River and Jayne, and when together they're called Rayne. Like my name."

"How much does the rest of the River costume cost?" Xander asked. No point in hearing more if he couldn't afford it.

"Well it's just the gun really." Ethan answered. "If you have a t-shirt with the arms torn off, that would be perfect but not completely necessary. Just don't wear an army uniform with it. It would look tacky."

Xander took a closer look at the price of the gun and cringed involuntarily. He wouldn't be eating lunch for a while if he did this.

Ethan caught the flinch. "Tell you what. Are the two of you Trick-or-Treating together?" he paused for them to nod. Dawn nodded vigorously. "Well that's far more important to me with this costume than getting full price. If you buy the dress and boots, I'll throw the gun in for free."

"Please Xander?" Dawn begged.

Xander wasn't sure if he liked a girly sounding name like 'River' but then there was a male actor with that name, he thought, so he nodded. "Mister, you've got a deal."

* * *

-break-

_What the gorram hell was going on? One minute he's sitting at the table cleaning his guns and the next thing he __knows__ he's in the middle of some rim planet that looked to be under attack by Reavers. No. Not Reavers, but something else. These things didn't look like they were ever human._ A scream nearby interrupted his thoughts.

"Make it stop!" River was on her knees nearby clutching her head.

_Girl sure picked a fine time to pitch a fit,_ he growled to himself. He adjusted Vera to one hand but kept his head on a swivel to watch for trouble and picked River up by the arm. "Moonbrain, you'd best get a hold of yourself and start doing that thing where you kill all them Reavers instead of cowering in the corner like a crazy person."

Something very much not human started approaching the two of them so Jayne blew its head off with Vera. That seemed to scatter everything else. Except for one redhead who kept walking towards them.

"Xander! Dawn!" some red-headed whore was clearly addressing him.

"Don't know what a Xander is lady. And dawn looks to be far away right now." he went to brush past her and instead stumbled when he met with no resistance. Only the weight of River in his other hand kept him from falling.

"Oh no." the whore moaned. "You went right through me. I went as a ghost, and now I really am a ghost. Everyone turned into their costumes! You two went as River and Jane and now you're..."

Jayne and River reached the wall of a house. He stashed River in the bushes and turned to face the hooker. "What are you talking about? What's going on here? How did we get here and what the hell planet are we on?"

"Earth of course."

_Earth? The Earth as in Earth-that-was? No wonder they abandoned it if it was infested with Reavers._

"Earth that was, is, and evermore shall be." River spouted some of her cryptic nonsense, but at least that meant that she'd stopped screaming.

"Okay guys, I'm Willow. Your name isn't River, it's Xander. And your name isn't Jane, it's Dawn." the red-head explained.

"I ain't going by Dawn. My name's Jayne and I'm the one with the gun so I get to decide."

Willow looked confused. "Wait. Your name's 'Jayne'? But that's-"

"If you're about to say it's a girl's name then I'll prove that I'm a man.." he gave her a lecherous grin that never failed to win the hearts of his whores.

The ghost paled considerably. An admirable feat for someone without a circulatory system. "Never mind. Okay, now we just need to find... _Buffy!_" the ghost took off running towards a screaming ball of pink.

It reminded Jayne of nothing so much as Kaylee's getup for that hun dan shindig. And now Jayne had a choice to make. Two... things were approaching the girls. He had only a little ammo for Vera and no backup weapons that he could feel. _Since when did he go into a fight with fewer than three guns and a knife? Even if he had Vera._ He took aim at the larger monster and blew off its head. The other one ran off quickly.

"No!" screamed the ghost. "No guns. Those are people in there. They're just under a spell. They'll turn back once we stop it."

"I ain't fixin to die just cause some ghost is squeamish about killin'." Jayne shot back. "The girl and I are going to find someplace to lay low till this blows over. And if you got a problem with killin' then I suggest you stay here and not take us with you, ghost." Jayne pulled River from the bushes and started to walk away.

"Wait! We should stick together!" Willow shouted.

"No!" Jayne called over his shoulder.

* * *

-break-

Jayne wasn't sure how he'd got talked into letting the ghost and the pink dress tag along with them.

River stared at her hand. "I'm not sure that I'm real. Are you sure you're the ghost? Perhaps you're the only one alive and the rest of us are ghosts. After all, who can say that we're really here on Earth-that-was? We were just in a space ship on the other side of the galaxy from Earth and now we're supposedly here. Or perhaps this just a metaphysical construct brought on by cranial trauma and seeing my brother making love to his wife?"

"You saw the doc and Kaylee getting nekid?" Jayne leered.

River smiled as only she could. "Yes, it was beautiful and utterly traumatizing." then she skipped ahead of the group which now included several small children who had not transformed.

"Are you sure she's alright?" Willow whispered to him.

"'Liance did something to her brain. Never know what you're gonna get from her. One minute she might kill without mercy and the next, rub soup in your hair." Jayne answered.

"Why soup?" she wondered.

"Don't ask me." Jayne admitted. "All I know is it's funny so long as it ain't me she does it to."

"Okay, then where are we going? You're not exactly from around here and my friend's house is just back there a little ways. We could be safe there."

"I ain't keep'n ya." Jayne grunted.

"Surely it would be better to find a place of safety rather than walk the streets where demons roam." the girl in pink declared. Jayne had forgotten her name as soon as she scorned his advances.

"Crazy girl is heading this way." Jayne stated.

"And you follow this crazy girl wherever she goes?" Willow scoffed.

"Long as she's coherent. She's jen duh sh tyen tsai. (An absolute genius) Kinda smarts that make smart people look dumber than a box of rocks." Jayne explained.

_Did this idiot just speak Chinese like it was his native tongue?_ Willow wondered. Willow didn't have time to ask as a Vampire jumped out in front of Dawn up ahead. And Dawn was... holding her own against it.

"Jayne. I require. An organic. Carbon-based. Stabbing implement." River requested from the mercenary between fending off blows.

"Say what?" Jayne looked confused.

"A stake. She needs a wooden stake." Willow translated.

"Why can't she just say what she means." Jayne grumbled as he went to a nearby fence, broke off a sharp piece and threw it at the reader. (no, not you. River, the reader. Not the reader, reader. We don't have that technology... yet.)

"The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming facilities." River stated. The words were certainly different than a Slayer's quips, but they seemed to give the monster pause, perhaps to think about how long it took to kill some of his victims in the past. The opening was brief but River took advantage of it and soon the Vamp was dust.

Jayne came up and viewed the remains. "Int'restin'. Wonder if that would work on Reavers?"

River shook her head, rolled her eyes, and gave him her 'You're a boob' look she normally reserved for Simon. Then gave back the improvised stake before walking away.

Willow came up. "Wow that was... amazing."

"Like I was saying. Moonbrain's psychic. And crazy to boot. But I've never seen anyone fight like her." Jayne looked at the girl in blue as she walked away. "So yeah, as long as she's coherent, I'll follow her."

* * *

-break-

They were skirting a warehouse district now. Home turf as far as Jayne was concerned and he was starting to feel a bit more comfortable. He rounded the corner of the alley River had turned down to see River and a... pirate dancing together. Or at least River was dancing. Jayne could tell by the fact that the man with the sword was still alive. Jayne recognized the pirate from pictures off the Cortex. He was trying to run River through with a sword.

"We ain't got time for you to be dancing Riv. Knock him out so we can get a move on." Jayne ordered.

"Nah-uh." River shook her head. "This one is for you." she turned and ran past him ten feet then stopped.

Jayne barely had time to dodge to the side to avoid an overhand cut that would have sliced him in half. But the pirate put too much into the blow and was off balance. The mercenary took advantage of the mistake and gave him a right to the jaw, a left to the body and another right before the pirate got his sword back up and gave a horizontal slash. Jayne danced away from the sword and away from River and the kids. He had a healthy respect for bladed weapons and the pirate had some basic knowledge of swordplay, though he was no Atherton Wing. Still, he saw how the Captain had "won" that fight and knew that winning like that would be no win at all here and now.

Still, he didn't have enough rounds for Vera to waste one on this scum. Instead he tore a piece of wood from a broken pallet. The next time the pirate attacked, he used the wood to deflect the blow then move in close for the kill.

"Jayne." River touched him on the shoulder. "That's enough." she ordered softly.

The merc dropped the limp but still breathing body of the pirate on the ground.

"Oh, my." the girl in pink said daintily. She was starting to get on his nerves. All the stuck up snobbishness of someone Core-bred like the doc had been but with no redeeming features at all. At least with a companion other than Inara, he had the potential for some trim. But this one had rebuffed his interest rudely. Something about saving herself. As if she could save herself from anything.

"Let's go." he turned and continued walking down the alley.

"No. This way." River corrected heading the way they had been going before she turned down the alley.

Jayne was seeing red. _Had she picked a scrap with that smelly pirate just to put him unarmed into a sword fight? _ They'd have words about this later. He would probably lose, but they'd have them just the same.

* * *

-break-

River stopped in front of a nondescript storefront and pointed.

"This is Ethan's place, where we got our costumes!" Willow said much too loudly for Jayne's liking.

River and Jayne shared a conversation with just their eyes before Jayne unslung Vera. "How many?"

"Just one."

"Willow, make yourself useful and scout ahead for us." he ordered. Because something about this place was giving him the wiggins. _Wait. What's a wiggins?_

"But..."

"Just go. You're not going to do any good guarding the kids when you can't hit anything. Help us end this quickly."

Willow reluctantly stepped through the doors without opening them. "Looks okay in here," she called back.

Jayne cleared the doors when she moved towards the back room and River quietly followed in his shadow.

"Ethan Rayne is back here!" Willow shouted.

"Young lady, there is no need to shout." Ethan Rayne calmly walked out of the back room to come face to face with Vera. "Jayne Cobb. I was expecting an old friend, but it's a pleasure to meet you just the same. And River Tam. How wonderful to meet you both. My name is Ethan Rayne. Spelled like Jayne, but with an R instead of the J."

He hadn't told anyone on Earth-that-is what their last names were. "What do you want?"

Ethan laughed. "Why to meet you of course. And have a bit of fun while I do it. Cause a little Chaos. You know how it is."

"I've done my share of crime in my day. But I always had a good reason. Usually money. Or women. Sometimes both." his finger touched Vera's trigger ever so lightly. The slightest twitch would now set her off. "But dragging a man from his home to this gos se planet just for shits and giggles isn't my kind of fun."

Ethan wisely raised his hands and took a step back. "Now now. Easy there. Kill me and you'll never figure out how to undo the spell and you'll be stuck on Earth-that-was for the rest of your life."

Jayne considered his words for a moment then re-aimed Vera at his knee. "Good point. Pain would be a lot better at motivating you to talk I reckon."

Ethan suddenly remembered that Jayne Cobb was probably not a person he could negotiate something like this with. "The statue in the back room. Break it and the spell will be broken." he explained quickly.

"Cover him." River ordered as she walked to the back room. The sound of clay breaking filled the room then everything went black.

* * *

-break-

A/N: If you're not a Firefly Flan (not a typo), you might be confused as to who was whom. Everyone originally *assumed* that River was the male name and Jayne was the female. In actuality, Jayne is the man (Xander) and River is the female (Dawn). Also, if you like Buffy, you should really buy the Firefly series and Serenity the movie. I found them for cheap at Target the other day and picked up an extra copy of each.

A/N: Yes, originally the Scoobies stayed in their own bodies for Halloween. Plenty of other people had some dramatic transformations though. My theory is that their costumes were simply them "as other people" (i.e. soldier, noble woman). But having costumes of specific people (River and Jayne) caused physical transformations.

A/N2: This is actually the first story I started when my muse came back after leaving me while writing A Whole New World. It's unfinished and I don't know where it's going, but I wanted to post it to honor Robin Sachs. R.I.P. Ethan Rayne.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Xander came back to himself in the front room of Ethan's Costume shop. He shook the cobwebs from his brain before he looked around. Ethan and Will were both gone.

"Hey guys. How's everyone feeling?" Buffy came into the costume shop holding her black wig.

"Will's gone!" Xander answered. Then it came to him. "Her body!" he relaxed. "She was a ghost. So she probably left her body somewhere. Okay, she should be fine. And that Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng (frog humping sonofa...) ran off." then he turned and called to the back room. "How you feeling Dawnie?"

There was no answer.

"Dawn?" both Xander and Buffy called at the same time. They both rushed for the back room at the same time. Xander was surprised when he made it there first. He was a lot closer but Buffy's speed usually trumped any head start. But they both stopped dead at the sight in the back room. Little Dawnie had collapsed amid a pile of rubble. Except that she wasn't '_Little_ Dawnie' any more. She was now as tall as River was. Maybe even a bit taller. She certainly didn't look twelve any more. Xander knelt and checked for a pulse. He sighed in relief when he found a strong one.

"Dawn?" Buffy breathed as she knelt next to her 'little' sister. She started shaking her, gently at first then harder. "dawn. Dawn. Dawn! DAWN!"

"Buffy!" Xander intervened with a bear hug. "We'll make her better. I promise. Let's get her to Giles. He'll know what to do." he assured her.

* * *

-break-

"She's exhausted." Giles stated as he closed the door to his office quietly behind her. "This... growth spurt or whatever you wish to call it certainly had mystical origins and power, but it also drained her physically as well. A few days of rest and she should be fine."

"But what about turning her back?" Buffy swallowed.

"I'm afraid it appears to be permanent." Giles started cleaning his glasses. "As I said, it was certainly mystically triggered but the results are 100% human. The only thing I can think of would be a powerful glamor that might allow her to be seen in public for short periods of time. A glamor that could be made a bit taller each time until it matches her real height. With the right planning, such a thing might take only a year."

"A year?" Buffy was crestfallen.

"Buffy. Your sister grew almost a full foot overnight. Normally such things would take much more than a year but we can attribute it to a stunning growth spurt or maybe a pituitary cancer without raising too many suspicions." Giles explained and placed a hand on her shoulder. "And she's going to need your support. She may look your age now, but inside she's still a scared little twelve year old and this is going to be hard on her."

Buffy nodded and let the tears fall. Her mom was going to kill her.

* * *

-break-

Giles was driving the children home when he cleared his throat. This would not be a comfortable conversation. "Buffy, when does your mother return?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. Why?" Buffy snapped out of her reverie only after answering automatically.

"I realize this isn't good timing, but we have to discuss what to tell your mother." Giles advised.

"No offense Giles, but this isn't like hiding the fact that I'm the Slayer. She's _going_ to notice that her baby grew a foot overnight." Buffy countered.

"Only if said child is there to be noticed." Giles retorted.

"You can't be serious."

"Very."

"What was that you said about needing support? And now you want to take her away from our mother?" Buffy was horrified.

But Giles wasn't about to back down yet. "The rules for secrecy exist for good reason Buffy. Most humans cannot accept the supernatural and fight to keep their old world view. They tend to be indiscriminate in their attacks on the magical world – attacking both good and evil alike. Slayers have been killed because the wrong person found out their identity. But you should know better than I. What happened the last time you tried to explain to your parents that you were the Slayer?"

Buffy remained silent and looked at her lap.

"Well, what happened?" Xander broke in from the back seat where he was holding Dawn's head on his lap.

"Never you mind, Xander." Giles ordered as he made a turn.

When Buffy spoke again, her voice was barely above a whisper. "But she can't deny the evidence this time."

"You'd be surprised what people can deny to hold onto their world-view." Giles warned.

"We should all be there when you tell her, Buff. Even Fang-face. We'll do it like an intervention. 'Joyce. Magic is real. Your daughter is now a giantess and the other one is The Slayer. Oh and her boyfriend is a vampire.' Then I dust him as proof." Xander quipped.

"This is no time for jokes Xander!" Giles said angrily.

"Who said I was joking?" Xander met his eyes in the rear-view mirror until Giles had to return his to the road. Then he gave a sigh of relief to have met the older man's gaze that long.

Up front Giles took a deep breath and visibly relaxed his grip on the steering wheel. "Perhaps." he allowed. "It is possible that it would work... and her knowing everything would certainly simplify logistics." he sighed. "Is this what you really want, Buffy?"

"I'm tired of lying, Giles. And I think this one is too big." she snuck a peak at the back seat. "Literally. Because I can't believe I'm shorter than her already."

Giles let out a half chuckle at what his vertically challenged Slayer focused on. "Very well. But we should do it as a group. Just more seriously than Xander suggested. There's no telling how she might react if she found out suddenly. I'll stop by with Ms. Calendar just before sunset. Find a way to get Angel there, he can be our ace in the hole. Seeing him transform suddenly just might override any denials she might have."

Giles finished talking just before they pulled into the driveway. Buffy jumped out, "Angel!" she exclaimed as she ran to him.

"Buffy! I was so worried," he said as they embraced.

"I'm fine." she assured him. "But Dawn..." her voice broke.

Angel looked at the car where Xander and the watcher were pulling a tall woman from the car. "Is that...?"

"Something to do with the spell tonight. And it looks like it's permanent." Buffy explained. "We're going to need your help tomorrow night."

"Name it, you've got it." Angel promised.

"I need you to come here right after sunset. We're going to explain this to my mom. We're going to need you for moral support and maybe..." she touched his forehead.

Angel nodded. "I'll be here. Do you need any help with her?"

"No, she's just exhausted, Giles says." Buffy embraced him one more time before turning to let the men carrying her sister into her house.

-break-

Xander couldn't say what force it was that caused him to do it, but he just felt naked being unarmed and he stole the sharpest knife he could find from the Summers' kitchen before he left.

Giles was nice enough to give him a ride back to his folks' place. Standing outside it was hard not to compare it with Jayne Cobb's childhood home. Certainly they were similar in that they both had crappier houses than their neighbors. Xander was fortunate to live in a time and place where the average standard of living was higher than in Jayne's case. Not that everyone in the Verse was worse off in that future, but plenty of those on the Rim were.

There was more than one parallel too. Fathers that drank. Mothers that took a beating. Both hid their intelligence behind a pretense of ignorance. The pervasive hopelessness that infested both their towns. Xander wasn't sure if he was braver than Jayne since he was willing to face monsters Jayne was scared of. But the truth was that he was just as scared as Jayne. And probably more so now. Now that he realized just how untrained he was.

He made his way quietly to his room so as not to wake his parents and did sit-ups and push-ups in silence until he could do no more, then collapsed on his bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

Buffy awoke to someone screaming next to her. But no one was next to her. It was coming from Dawn's room down the hall. _Idiot, _she cursed herself. _ Shouldn't have let her wake up by herself. How would you feel if you suddenly woke up a foot taller?_ Buffy squashed the feelings of longing such thoughts invariably brought on as she raced to Dawn's room. "Dawn! Dawn! I'm here. Shhhh. It's alright." she assured her sister.

"Simon! Help me Simon!" Dawn screamed, clutching her head.

"Dawn! There's no Simon here." Buffy informed her. "It's okay. It's just us."

"Buffy?" there was a look of recognition in her eyes. "Oh Buffy! It's so loud in here. Make it stop. Please, just make it stop." Dawn clutched her tightly as tears streamed down her face.

Twenty minutes later Giles was there and Dawn was sedated.

"Do I even want to know why you have sedatives like that?" Buffy wondered.

"Well Buffy, one must- one must be prepared." Giles stammered.

Just then the front door slammed shut.

"Oh no! Mom! We're dead!" lamented Buffy.

"Doughnuts!" Xander called out.

Both Buffy and Giles released the breaths they were holding.

After the sugary goodness was consumed Buffy got down to business. "Xander, does the name Simon mean anything to you?"

Xander had a sharp intake of breath. He took his time finishing the bite of doughnut he had in his mouth and washing it down with the rest of his milk. "That something Dawn said?" he guessed.

"So... spill."

"Dawn went as River Tam for Halloween. Simon Tam was River's brother. A doctor trying to help her because the government did something to her brain. It made her... well psychic. And maybe crazy too, though it wasn't ever clear if that was because of all the voices she heard."

"Dear God." Giles breathed.

"I know. And if I ever get my hands on that Ethan Rayne, he'll wish he'd never heard of Jayne Cobb."

Giles did a double take. "Excuse me, did... you say Ethan _Rayne_?"

"Yeah, he called our costumes the Rayne combo because it was both River and Jayne." Xander gave a grim smile.

"Indeed." Giles was all grim and no smile. "If you'll excuse me, I believe I should check out this costume shop for myself."

"Wait! What about Dawn?" Buffy grabbed his sleeve.

"I shan't be gone long." he assured her.

"And what if my mom comes home early?" she demanded.

"Tell her that... she stayed up all night eating candy and is now sleeping it off. Perhaps you can pile some toys at the foot of her bed to make it less obvious how tall she's grown." Giles pulled his arm free.

After Giles was gone, Buffy refilled their milks. "So, what's with the knives?"

"Noticed that, did you?" Xander drew one and placed it on the counter. "This one's yours. Sorry but with Jayne's memories so fresh, I just felt naked without one last night."

"And the other two?"

"Are mine from home."

There was silence for a minute until Buffy spoke. "I have this insatiable need to crochet something right now. I know for certain that I can play the piano really well and I speak both French and Latin fluently. Also if I needed to, I could throw a party for 20 people tomorrow."

"Not the most useful skills." Xander observed.

"No, but my French grades should improve. So spill. What kinds of things did you learn?" Buffy prodded.

"Some decent fighting skills. Also, I could probably field strip and clean any gun you put in front of me right now. And I got my own insatiable need: to exercise." Xander grabbed his stomach. "I did 100 sit ups last night and another 50 this morning. I can barely sit up straight right now."

"What about Dawn? What do you think she got?" Buffy wondered. "She woke up screaming for Simon this morning." she swallowed. "It worries me."

"I'll find out when she comes to again." Xander promised. That she kept River's height was a worrying sign even without the screaming. It spoke that she probably kept more than even Xander. And he had 41 years of Jayne's memories and habits to deal with. On the plus side, he could speak fluent Mandarin and could probably read a bit too. But whereas Xander looked like Xander again, Dawn had kept something physical and if the physical changes extended to her brain then they'd be in real trouble.

-break-

Buffy, Dawn, Xander and Giles were in the desert, miles from the nearest person. Xander had insisted that waking her far away from most people would be best for her. Willow had been filled in on the day's events and wanted to come too but they decided that the fewer people the better for now. Giles wouldn't have even have come except that neither of the children had a driver's license and even if Buffy had one he wouldn't have let her take his car.

Dawn was starting to come around.

"I think I should be the one she sees first." Xander stated.

"But I'm her sister."

Xander swallowed. "I know, Buffy. But I've got Jayne's memories here to help me. So whether it's Dawn or River that makes an appearance, I'll be capable of helping her. Do you know how to calm an insane psychic? No? Then let me try first."

Buffy's shoulders slumped and she backed away in defeat.

Giles spoke up, "You retained all of-"

"Can it." Xander growled. "She's coming to."

"Uhh. Wǒ gǎnjué jiù xiàng shì yī zhǐ shānyáng de niújiǎo jí zhòng. (I feel like I was headbutted by a goat)" Dawn groaned holding her hands over her head.

"Good morning yuèliàng dànǎo. (Moon brain)"

"Good morning ape man." Dawn replied still not taking her hands from her eyes. "Where are we?"

"Earth." Xander had to stop himself from saying Eath-that-was.

"She is aware of that, Jayne. But she can feel that she is no longer in the city. That was the where that she was referring too." Dawn chided.

"We're in the desert, about an hour east of Sunnydale. You, me, Buffy and Giles."

"Buffy's angry with me." Dawn opened her fingers enough to poke an eye out.

Xander sighed. It was hard to argue with a psychic. "She thinks she lost her sister. But she didn't, did she? You're still Dawn. Still her mei-mei."

"Just one more voice in all the noise." Dawn said cryptically.

"You're forgetting who you're talking to. This is Xander, Dawnie. I've heard you scream loud enough to shatter glass so I know you can make yourself heard if you want to."

"It doesn't matter. This mind is as broken as the last one. Simon could do nothing for her and Buffy can do less." She reached up to the sky. "And the peacefulness of the Black is unreachable when the gravity is so strong."

He took the hand reaching for the sky. "So you're just going to give up? You're not going to try? Not for Buffy? Not for me?"

"It's not enough. Xander loves Buffy. Jayne loves Kaylee. No matter who I am, I always get left by the wayside." Dawn lamented.

"You're sad because the men you liked weren't pedophiles? Jayne was more than 20 years older than River and yesterday Dawn was only twelve years old." Xander scolded. "I thought you were supposed to be a genius."

Dawn showed off the maturity of her new body by sticking out her tongue and blowing a raspberry. But she did rise to her feet and dust herself off. Only to be captured in a Slayer bear hug. "Buffy please." she choked. Once she was slightly more free she faced her teary-eyed sister with tears of her own. "It's not your fault. None of it is your fault." she assured her. "But I'm not going back." she met Giles' eyes. "It's not safe."

"I assure you we will keep you-"

"For you." Dawn cut him off. "It took River Tam years to... And that was with advanced medical care."

"I'll take care of her." Xander decided. "I have some experience in this sort of thing."

"No. I'll take care of her." Buffy countered. "I'm her sister."

But Dawn shook her head. "One girl in all the world... If there had been only one doctor in all the Verse, I never would have let Simon throw everything away on me. The world needs you too much to throw yourself away caring for me."

"I'd like to see you stop me." Buffy crossed her arms.

"I'm a psychic assassin. I think I could find a way." Dawn gave a small smile in return. "Besides, you can't keep me safe from myself. My life is small next to all those you would otherwise save." she threatened sadly.

Buffy covered her mouth in horror. "Dawn, you wouldn't."

"River thought about it every day after her third month in the Academy. But the situation is different here. Better. Once I can control it. I can come back. To my family. I'll get better. I promise I'll get better. But you can't come with."

Both sister's were bawling by that time. Giles pulled Xander aside while they embraced. "Are you sure you want to do this? Dropping out of school to help Dawn. I don't mean to make it sound like a whim, but it is rather sudden. And you will be missing a High School diploma, it could hurt your future."

"I've had more schooling than Jayne Cobb ever had. And Dawn and River both need me on this. I can't let them down." Xander met his eyes.

"Then I guess we'll give you a ride to the next town." Giles offered.

Xander shook his head. "Thanks, but I don't want to go through this all over again. We'll walk."

"Very well." Giles reached into his jacket and pulled out his checkbook. He wrote a check and handed it to Xander. "Cash that when you get to a town. It will give you some money to start with and let us know that you got to civilization alive. Agreed?"

Xander looked at the check and could only swallow and nod. Suddenly his mouth got very dry. "Thanks for all your help."

"Thank you for yours."

-break-

A/N: Ok, this isn't where I thought this was going. But I guess that's what's fun about writing. Finding out where the story goes.

我感觉就像是一只山羊的牛角击中。Wǒ gǎnjué jiù xiàng shì yī zhǐ shānyáng de niújiǎo jí zhòng. (I feel like I was headbutted by a goat) – Thanks (or blame) to Google Translate.

Yuèliàng dànǎo – Moon brain. Same as above.


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